Michael Schwern

Michael Schwern
International Consultant Of Mystery, eval Empire

Website | @schwern

Schwern has a copy of Perl 6, he lets Larry Wall borrow it and take notes.

Schwern once sneezed into a microphone and the text-to-speech conversion was a regex that turns crap into gold.

Damian Conway and Schwern once had an arm wrestling contest. The superposition still hasn’t collapsed.

Schwern was the keynote speaker at the first YAPC::Mars.

When Schwern runs a smoke test, the fire department is notified.

Dan Brown analyzed a JAPH Schwern wrote and discovered it contained the Bible.

Schwern writes Perl code that writes Makefiles that write shell scripts on VMS.

Schwern does not push to master, master pushes to Schwern.

SETI broadcast some of Schwern’s Perl code into space. 8 years later they got a reply thanking them for the improved hyper drive plans.

Schwern once accidentally typed “git pull —hard” and dragged Github’s server room 10 miles.

There are no free namespaces on CPAN, there are just modules Schwern has not written yet.

Schwern’s tears are said to cure cancer, unfortunately his Perl code gives it right back.

Sessions

Tools and Techniques
Location: E147
Tags: git
Michael Schwern (eval Empire)
Average rating: ****.
(4.58, 12 ratings)
Learn how to think like a Git using nothing more than children's toys! If you’re using git, but are uncomfortable with it and don’t really get it, this is for you. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD – Small Parts. Not For Children Under 4 Years. Read more.
Geek Lifestyle
Location: D138
Nóirín Plunkett (Eucalyptus Systems), Michael Schwern (eval Empire)
Average rating: ****.
(4.50, 8 ratings)
This year's college students never had a Commodore 64 - it had been discontinued before they were born. They've grown up with the internet and Google - they're smart, and they're already coding. This talk looks at how we can make open source relevant to the Facebook generation, how our communities can adapt to recognize their itches, and how we can benefit from their insight and work. Read more.

Sponsors

For information on exhibition and sponsorship opportunities at the conference, contact Sharon Cordesse at (707) 827-7065 or scordesse@oreilly.com.

View a complete list of OSCON contacts